Pleo

Forget about Tamigotchi, wave goodbye to your Robosapien and enter the Jurassic, yet hi tech world of Pleo – the intelligent prehistoric plaything that is documented to be the most sophisticated robotic pet of the millennium!

This cute little Camarasaurus has got to be the most amazing robotic pet we’ve ever seen and is taking the prehistoric world of robotic dinosaurs by storm! The reason being is that every single Pleo is unique! Every time a Pleo is born (or switched on) it begins to develop its own personality and his moods and habits progress depending on how the owner interacts with him.

Unlike any other robotic pet, Pleo reacts organically without the help of any controllers. Pleo’s ultra advanced internal sensory system boasts hundreds of tiny receptors that allow him to move autonomously. Pleo will sniff his surroundings, stamp his feet and he even makes a hooting noise when he’s feeling happy or playful. He even limps if he’s hurt!

If Pleo is scared of something you will have to comfort and reassure him and be careful not to leave him alone too long or he will become lonely. The more experiences you give Pleo the more his confidence will grow. Just like a real pet, but without the droppings!

Pleo’s internal battery will give him an hour on his feet from a 4 hour charge, and when he needs food (charging) he will yawn and become lazy and maybe a little irritable if he’s really famished. Just remember, treat Pleo as you would a real pet because his personality and character will grow over time, just like technology has with this ultimate piece of prehistoric robotic reptilia!

Luv Duck

Some people never bathe. Okay so they use the shower a fair bit but there is nothing better and more relaxing than immersing your tired and battered body in to toasty hot water and bubblesw after a long hard day’s work. Light up a few candles, put on your favourite Café del Mar or whale music cd,relax for an hour or so and wash away the days trouble and stress.

There are plenty of bathtime luxuries that you can have around you while you soak in the tub. The good ‘ol loofah is a time-tested classic and a squirt of Radox always helps to gently soothe your day's troubles away. But there's nothing more delightful, and of course iconic, than a yellow rubber duck. We have such a duck right here but this one has an added and unexpected bonus. He’s called the Luv Duck and he vibrates!

Once again, someone has taken an innocent childhood memory and tweaked it into a somewhat more adult version. So much for nostalgia… The Luv Duck is described by the manufacturer as a personal massager but it's completely up to you what you want to do with it. He certainly does look the part as he bobbles up and down all innocently on the surface of the water. Except for that overly happy smile on his face. It’s not a manic smile (that would be tasteless now wouldn’t it) but Mr Duck certainly appears overjoyed.

This starry eyed little critter conceals a waterproof motor beneath his yella belly which controls his powerful vibrating device. Just give him a quick squeeze and you can turn him on and off. Not only is the Luv Duck fully waterproof he's also extremely quiet too, so you won't be getting any unexpected visitors at the bathroom door asking you "who's playing with my electric toothbrush again"!?

Rub a dub dub three men in a tub. Well multiple men in a tub is not the name of the game here but we’ll leave details like that up to you and your imagination. Let the Luv Duck take you to the 'beak' of er…, relaxation. After all, that’s what he’s designed for, right…?

CUBees

What do cats, dogs, pigs, cows, chicks and ducks have in common? Absolutely nothing until you put them together and get them singing. Singing animals?!! Yes, that’s right, Cubees are a bunch of animals that just happen to enjoy stretching their vocal chords for your listening pleasure. But there’s much more to them than meets the ear…

Cubees are a collection of 6 little cubes formed like the aforementioned sextuplet of animals. Big language aside, these gadgets are vocally voracious and love to sing solo or as a combo. In their own animal way of course. That is their party piece but you have options. As the musical director of this band of unlikely Xfactor hopefuls, you decide who sings lead and who does backing vocals. It’s all about the way you stack ‘em up. Let one of these little lovelies fly solo and he will sing up to three tunes. If you choose pig for example, you’ll get a song sung with nothing but oink oinks. Select duck features and it’s all a bit quack quack quack.

This is good enough in itself but things get really interesting when you start joining the Cubees together. Stack two vertically and they’ll both do different parts of the same song and harmonize while they’re at it. Their faces also flap up and down in time with the music. Ridiculous. But stick them all together and you’re in for a right riveting rendition of all your favourites.

Their group repertoire consists of timeless well-loved classics such as If Your Happy And You Know It, Yankee Doodle, London Bridge, Old MacDonald, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Now if you think that’s only for kids, think again. Cubees make such silly sounds that these songs are simply hilarious. You know your children are going to adore them but so will the big kids at the office. They’ll all be woof woofing and moo mooing like nobody’s business instead of work working. Until the boss walks in and declares war on the audio animal kingdom…

By the way, we haven’t told you everything. As if these creatures weren’t endearing enough, they come complete with excessively sweet offspring hidden behind those flappy faces and are stored inside like Russian Dolls. Each of the six animals has two tiny square little babes each. They may not sing but they do ‘cute’ very well.

So next time you need some light relief from the everyday hustle and bustle of life, remember to choralize, harmonize, animalize with the Cubees. They’re all a bit Oink oink, chirp, woof, moo, meaow, quack!

Selector Mug

Thanks to the Selector Mug our hot beverages will never be inaccurately-milked or over-sweetened again. People get very particular with the way they have their tea. Methods range from adding the milk as you pull out the teabag to plonking milk and sugar in at the same time. Up until now, having another person make your own brew correctly has been everyone’s utopia. Now we’re glad to say it’s a dream come true. We present to you - The Selector Mug!

Every one loves a cup of tea first thing in the morning. But you're hungover again and your throat feels like you've swallowed a pint of sand. You can't be bothered to make a cuppa yourself and you haven't got the energy to ask someone to do it for you. We have the solution! Now you don't even have to open your mouth to get your perfect hot drink! Twist the rings on the Selector Mug to reveal your choice of drink, milk and sugar preferences, extend your paw from the duvet with cup in hand and look sorry for yourself, as you cunningly watch your missus make you the finest cup of char on the go.

But how does this witchcraft work? Well this understated beige mug sports three (as if you hadn’t guessed by now) twistable selector rings which reveal the drink of your choice. The top one shows Tea, Coffee, Decaf, Latte, Cappuccino, Mocha, Hot Chocolate or Herb Tea. Move down one ring and you can choose Black, Milk, Cream, Lemon, Ginger, or even Whipped Cream! Finally on the bottom rung select how many sugars you want (0, 1, 2 or 3) or whether you need Sweetener, Honey, Cinnamon or Syrup.

We have demonstrated the Saturday morning effect, now witness the power of the three rings in the office environment. You know what it’s like when someone pipes up “Im gonna get a coffee, anyone want something”. Next thing the poor blighter knows, he/she is inundated with requests for tea with one sugar and honey, hold the milk, black coffee please two sugars, and so on. If you’re the unfortunate person who gets to make the whole lot then a tray full of Selector Mugs will make life so much easier. And of course if you’re the lucky ringleader reclining lazily in a comfy office chair waiting for your new office junior to return, you’re guaranteed an accurate order. Nothing worse than sipping on stodgy Bovril instead of a cup of Gold Blend!

The Selector Mug is made from strong ceramic with lovely gleaming stainless steel rings and looks ‘Tea’lightful. Now no-one has an excuse to make a bad tea or coffee again and we owe this to the clever people at Suck UK. They have once again designed something stylish yet highly practical at the same time. We like!!!

Dart Coat Hooks

Something is wrong in the world. This is ground breaking news and the people need to know: there is a household accessory most of us have a tendency to overlook. And it’s the poor old coat hook. We generally settle for a bog-standard boring example but that is all about to change now with the introduction of the Dart Coat Hooks. Courtesy of those Suck UK types, the Dart Coat Hook is one very sexy hooker. If you look closely, while they look like, well, a dart, these sturdy stainless steel missiles have a screw thread at the pointy end.

And you don’t have to be a darts fan to appreciate the irony of having what looks like real darts poking out your wall. You can pretend you have a very laissez-faire attitude and don’t care about having a bit of target practice aimed straight at your wall. If people come round don’t forget to bung all your coats in a room to free up the hooks. This way, your visitors will be able to marvel at how funny and quirky you are by having darts for coat hooks and good-looking ones at that.

Spice up your life and get your pad looking proper sexy with these sleek subtle and classy Dart Coat Hooks. Their reassuringly solid feel and obvious good looks will turn you into the stud you always were beneath that jacket of conformity. And they come in a cute little display pack too if you’re offering them as a gift.

Secret Arrow

Whether it's for Valentine's Day, birthday or any other time of the year and you're feeling a bit Tom Jones-esque, the Secret Message Arrow is guaranteed to knock anyone off their feet. The Secret Message Arrow is made from high quality cast metal and is every bit old fashioned and charming in its methods. Housed inside the centre of this gorgeous arrow is a roll of parchment or a fancy bit of paper - whatever floats your boat.

The love sick sender writes a heartfelt and witty verse or passage, rolls it up again and inserts it back into the Arrow's body. Not only will your message hit the spot, the Secret Arrow will certainly hit the target!

Well, that's the general gist of it anyway. The Secret Message Arrow will do two thirds of the work but if your poetry and joined-up writing has got a bit ropey over the last few years, you're probably not going to cut the mustard. If you think you've got the charm to do it yourself, use an inkpen and know what you're going to write before you do. We're not insulting your intelligence but it only comes with 3 pieces of parchment so you want to get it right!

Once you've etched your verses of lurve onto the parchment you'll need to fit it in the head of the arrow. Take the metal rod that's provided on the underside of the box and roll the paper around it as tight as possible, still gripping the rod and the parchment with your forefingers, slide them both into the head of the arrow and then into the body and you're ready to go breaking some hearts!

The Secret Message Arrow comes in a card presentation box and is the perfect gift for any die-hard romantic. It will leave the recipient well...slightly intrigued with its original flair and creativity.

Acre of the Moon

Getting on the property ladder is a tricky business to say the least, especially with the whopping great prices estate agents are whacking on houses at the moment - unless you’ve got the better share of half a million lying dormant in your bank account you’ve probably missed your chance. But fear not, thanks to a royal balls up in the deeds of The Outer Space Treaty of 1967 you could always relocate to the moon, well, perhaps anyway?

Upon reading the documentations the Treaty forbids any government from claiming a planet like the Moon, but here’s the good bit, they forgot to mention whether private individuals can claim some for themselves? And back in 1980 an American going by the name of Dennis Hope did exactly that. He filed his claim to the Moon with the American and Russian governments… and neither of the superpowers have contested it ever since.

Owning 379,300,000 square kilometres of land can sometimes be quite a strain and the upkeep is horrific, never in a million light years could you use all that space, so… why not flog it? That’s right. Now you can buy an Acre of the Moon in the form of this space-tastic gift set and join thousands of other owners to who soon plan to relocate – which, in all fairness shouldn’t be too long with space travel tourism being potentially offered over the next few years, you never know, you may be able to visit your land sooner rather than later.

So here’s your chance to get your hands on a real acre of the moon before those pesky four headed martians do! With each property purchase you will receive a Deed, Constitution, Property Map, Mineral Rights, and a copy of the original Declaration of Ownership. Your Lunar site map shows you exactly where on the Moon your property is located and the Constitution and Bill of Rights detail the Lunar Laws, your rights, and of course, the all important laws of THE BIG CHEESE (that’s Dennis Hope to you and me).

When you receive your gift set you will need to return your Lunar Deed along with the postage paid registration card to Moon Estates and they will print your name on the certificate and fill out all the important bits for you, good eh?! Why not frame it and hang it over the fireplace and boast to guests about your new LunarLand! One thing’s for sure, if the Acre of Moon gifts sets keep selling at this alarming rate you might even find yourself with a couple of noisy next door neighbors.

Cuddles The Chimp

Ever wanted to adopt a really cute pet that you can love and hold and then discard when the relationship turns sour, or you just get bored? Well now you can! Fulfil your highly questionable dream with Cuddles the Chimp, possibly the cutest thing around courtesy of the people at Hasbro.

Cuddles the Chimp has been rescued from the wild and needs a new home. He’s cute, he’s cuddly he’s altogether cuddly wuddly and yes you’ve guessed it, we’ve actually gone a bit doolally for the toddler chimpster. Men, women, young and old are going to go crazy for him, there is no escape. Even the blokiest of blokes will melt.

We are all primates and some of us really are very hairy (all the girls will be nodding in approval at the thought of their hairy hubbies), but none more than chimpanzees, orangutans and that tree-hugging branch-swinging monkey lot. And this here baby chimp has a lovely soft infinitely strokeable coat of fur that will provide a lifetime of caressing.

You see, this tiny chappy doesn’t just look real, he also moves and makes all sorts of chumpy chimp noises too. Did you know that humans and chimpanzees share similar ticklish areas of the body? Well Cuddles has sensors on his feet that make him laugh. Pat his back however and another sensor will cause him to burp, yawn, sigh, hiccup and tons more. If that’s not enough he also claps and if you put something in his mouth like a finger or his banana-shaped feeding bottle he’ll grip it with his lips. Awww…

Like any young human being, Cuddles the Chimp is very good at manipulating his elders. Neglect him for a while and he’ll raise his hands while making all sorts of cute noises. No adult or child will be able to resist picking him up and giving him the biggest hug of his life. All he wants is to love and be loved so is that too much to ask? In fact, if the relationship turns serious you can even register your pet’s name and adoption date online. It’s all a bit surreal.

So there you have it. Just when you thought your human children were enough, along comes Cuddles the Chimp wanting a mummy or daddy. So why not adopt him today! After all, he comes complete with an adoption certificate. It couldn’t be any easier.

Mr T in Your Pocket

Da da da daa, da da daaa! It could only be the theme tune to one cult tv program, the famous A team! Anyone who's old enough and ugly enough to remember this will be familiar with B A Baracchus and his legendary sayings. Mr. T or A-Team enthusiasts will find this gift irresistible. It also doubles up as a good road rage calming device. We really pity the fool... who doesn't own one of these...Voiced by B A Barrachas himself!

We all remember Mr T. and everyone loved him due to his fully fledged Mohican, vast amounts of bling and complete misunderstanding of the English language. Not only that, he was a cracking mechanic as well! Being such a TV cult hero has got to be hard work, but imagine being asked to cram yourself inside a tiny key ring; that's when you know the acting work's really running out.

And now thanks to Shushhh! you can own a piece of this classic TV folklore in the form of Mr. T in your Pocket. This laughable little gadget contains six of Mr. T greatest one-liners including: "I Pity The Fool", "Don't Gimme No Back Talk, Sucka", "Quit Your Jibba Jabba", "Don't Make Me Mad.", "First Name Mister, Middle Name Period, Last Name T" and the old classic "Shut Up, Fool!"

So now every time you feel a B. A. Baracchus moment coming on, simply press the appropriate button and let Mr. T take over and deal with things in his hilarious manner - by the way, that's not pummeling a local bully into the ground, it's pressing the button and letting the man talk - fool!

The voice is by Lawrence Tureaud himself - aka Mr. T. He recorded the sayings for Mr. T in Your Pocket so you know you'll be getting the real deal.

Original Hot Bear

Ever thought of microwaving a bear? Well here’s your chance. Actually that’s not true but if you fancy getting all toasty and warm just like you were in a microwave, then you need an Original Hot Bear.

Those crisp cold winter nights are no fun at all. Climbing into a sack of frost which can sometimes feel wet when the cold is really really cold isn’t the way forward and then keeping an entire bed warm… Well that’s another challenge. The Original Hot Bear provides a great solution to this problem while managing the tough task of being cute and all. Beneath that loveable little exterior, Mr Hot Bear is hiding a bag inside his tummy which holds the secret to ever-lasting life. Actually it holds the secret to warm nights.

A blend of wheat and lavender, this inner bag must be heated in a microwave for 30 secs to 1 minute depending on your machine’s power setting and then replaced inside the Original Hot Bears tum tum to provide warmth during those twilight hours. What ever you do, don’t go and cook the whole bear, fur and all. He won’t enjoy the treatment and may well start smelling like something close to popcorn. Not recommended.

Natural wheat is a great conductor of heat and that the warmth emanating from the Original Hot Bear’s bag will help diffuse the lavender scent all around you, providing a calming, relaxing, therapeutic sleep. Shut-eye will never be the same again.

Anyone can use the Original Hot Bear. Your girlfriend will rediscover her love for teddy bears, yours kids will love you for providing a somewhat cuddlier version of a hot water bottle and the real men amongst us may even (secretly) buy one because they actually do need a cuddle like the rest of us from time to time. They just won’t admit it!

Message Egg

The Magic Message Egg is certainly the most peculiar gift we have seen to 'sprout' this year, (see what we've done there?) On first glance it looks like a plain old can with an egg in it, but give the Message Egg some water, sunlight and a bit of TLC and it will grow into a plant with a secret message emblazoned across one of its leaves, cool eh?!

How does it work you ask? We asked the same question and we've still don't have an answer. At the end of the day it's an egg, which grows into a jack bean plant that conceals a secret message; let's get over that first.

The Message Egg really is an amazing but deeply silly invention. Simply grab the ring pull, pop open the can, add some water and give it a few days; the egg will begin to crack open and the jack bean plant will begin to grow.

Who knows and who really cares how this weird and wonderful revolutionary egg grows; all we know is that anyone who receives it is bound to fall in love all over again when they see their very own secret message!

There are four Magic Message Eggs to choose from: 'I Love you', 'Happy Birthday', 'Good Luck' or 'Best Wishes'. The bean will germinate in about a week, by which time the message will be fully 'hatched' for the lucky recipient to see!

Eggs and beans have never been so exciting before, apart from when they're dished up next to double bacon, sausage, mushroom and chips after a night out on the sauce!

Love Bug Massager

Stress relief. Two words. We all know the first one intimately and probably don’t get to see enough of the second one. This is where the Love Bug Massager comes in. They are invigorating massagers for sore, tired and aching muscles. The Love Bug Massager is a simple beast to tame. Simply push the button on his nose and he’ll spring into life.

Okay so maybe more vibrate than spring but if you’re looking for some stress relief, this animal massager might be what you need. Available as a ladybird, a dog or an octopus, these adorable little creatures of comfort have four vibrating feet to give you or your partner some of that pressure point lovin’.

You don’t have to use these purely at home of course. Bring one to work and ‘bug’ your colleagues by demonstrating your hand technique. Of course you’ll be actually cheating with one of these but they’ll still enjoy ‘your’ massage. Unless of course you work on a building site where Bob and co will probably brick you rather than let you loose with these critters.

If you’re scared of insects, dogs and animals in general, then perhaps the Love Bug Massager will serve a dual purpose in your life, vibrating your troubles away while removing any long-lasting phobias. They do say you need to confront the object of your phobia in order to get rid of it.

Well we can’t guarantee that will work, but what we can say is that these Love Bug Massagers are very good at what they are designed for. Activate the vibration by pressing on their noses and let their little black feet do the rest. And how sweet they look as they do it... In fact, flip them over onto their backs and they look so cute and helpless. We’re talking about the Love Bug Massager here. Nothing else...

Let the Love Bug Massager enter your life. They can be used either with or without massage oil, melted butter or a humongous wedge of cooking fat, mmm mmm! No, seriously. Hit buy now!

Grow Your Own Venus Fly Trap

Do you remember your childhood fascination for these carnivorous plants of insect death? Venus fly traps are what made plant life cool. And now all grown up, your girlfriend drags you round those pesky garden centres on a Sunday but they never have any in stock. Well now you can do something you would never have believed possible as a kid. Have your very own pet plant thanks to the Grow Your Own Venus Fly Trap set.

The plant’s name refers to Venus, the god of love and plant life - which is supremely ironic as this little green dude is a complete alien to the concept of love. All the venus fly trap knows is how to attract prey. It does this by using an eye-catching (for insects a least) bright red interior and secreting tiny droplets of nectar. As a failsafe, our hungry botanical Ted Bundy registers movement inside the trap with trigger hairs but will only snap shut if these hairs are touched twice in quick succession. This prevents things like raindrops from falsely triggering the trap. Even nastier though, if the prey moves around in the trap, it tightens and digestion begins more quickly. Clearly a case of ‘stop complaining and die peacefully or else’. Like it could get any worse.

Originally from North and South Carolina in the US, the venus flytrap used to be quite tricky to grow in British homes. Well not anymore thanks to the Grow Your Own Venus Fly Trap gift set. This pack contains everything needed to recreate its natural environment. Included in the box are a mini pot, seed, compost pellet and of course detailed instructions on how to raise your very own garden gangsta.

Yes it’s true, the most subtle and unassuming of predators is now available to grow and love and water like your very own child, although your little Liam won’t grow any faster if you water him, his teeth are probably not so big and if he turns a similar shade of green you’re in trouble. People talk to their children and people talk to plants, it’s a well known fact. But no-one ever speaks to venus fly traps so maybe that’s why they’ve turned out so carnivorous. Well good! Because otherwise we’d be training dandelions to fight or something.

Grow Your Own Venus Fly Trap. Approximately 100 milliseconds are all it takes for this plant to snap shut on it's unsuspecting prey and £4.95 is all it takes to get in on this lightning fast mealtime action. Yum yum what’s for dinner mum… Flies… Mmmm...

Gupi

If you had a pound for every time you’ve been told that ‘pets were for life and not just for Christmas’ you’d probably have your very own menagerie by now. In the real world it’s a true statement, but in the world of gifts and gadgets it couldn’t be more wrong. What if there was a pet that would interact with you just like a real one, and if you got fed up with it you could just put it to one side? Well, now you can in the form of the Gupi and this one won't leave any chocolate drops on your carpet!

This super-intelligent, worryingly realistic computerised guinea pig that replicates the look, feel, sounds and actions of a real backyard miniature porker, and he's just as temperamental. This clever little creature is highly autonomous; he walks around the house, he doesn't fall off the table or down the stairs, which is all thanks to motion sensors built into his legs and eyes. Gupi is so smart he can even walk through a maze and you can be assured that he will find his way out. Clever Stuff!

Gupi has very interactive playing behaviour; if you don't play with him he becomes lonely and scared and will go and hide in a dark corner. But if you give him a cuddle or tickle his chin he’ll feel like king of the guinea pigs and reward you by being happy. Gupi can also hear you, and he’ll even react to voices and sounds, depending on his mood. When he's happy he will actually come running to you when you call him, but if he's scared he can't stand the racket and will scarper!

When Gupi’s in a good mood he will also follow a light beam so you can lead him wherever you want him to go. When he gets hungry you can feed him (recharge his batteries) through a little 'carrot' and he's ready for a lot more fun together with his friends. As such, Gupi creates the 'Tamagotchi' binding-effect, with unique identification codes in the chipsets, therefore, when other Gupis are in the vicinity they will express excited behaviour and they learn gradually how to accept each other, how to share "food" (battery re-loader), and how to play with each other in true guinea pig style.

The creators of Gupi really have thought of everything; his house even turns into a little hutch! If you love animals and you love robot guinea pigs (who doesn't?!) buy one of these Gupi’s before they scuttle right out of stock!

Acre of Mars

Need a change of scenery? Fancy becoming a land owner? Well now you can if you don’t mind having little green men and women as neighbours. That’s right, this is not porkies, for a mere 1995 pence you can bag yourself a plot of land fit for a king. Like king Yutushisophat from the planet Dooda 3.

Here at Shushhh! we understand that the stress of everyday life weighs on everyone’s minds 24/7. If we misplace the foam darts for one of our air-powered guns, work suddenly comes to halt and we all start to cry. When situations like this arise it’s good to escape for while or buy something really silly but kinda cool at the same time. Well, ever thought about investing in Mars? We’re not talking confectionary here, we’re talking about purchasing an Acre of Mars. Why not eh?

Why not indeed. And this has all been made possible thanks to a certain American chap by the name of Dennis Hope. In 1980, the clever fella filed a claim for Mars with the Russian and American governments, and guess what, neither superpower contested it! Who would have thought…?

A loophole in the 1967 Outer Space Treaty has allowed Mr Hope to claim ownership of all planetary and lunar surfaces in our solar system. Which is nice. He is the boss, the mack daddy, the big pimp in space. However, this is not some novelty item, it really is a real estate transaction.

The Acre of Mars gift set comes with a Martian site map which shows exactly where on Mars your property is located. Also included are a document with details of the Mineral Rights to your land, the Martian Constitution and Bill of Rights which details the Martian Laws, the Acre of Mars deed and of course, the all-important laws laid down by Dennis “soon I’ll rule the Universe” Hope. But that’s not all. You’ll also find attached a transcript of the Declaration of Ownership. This is the document filed in 1980 with the governments of the USA and Russia (then the USSR) along with the United Nations General Assembly.

The owner's name is left blank on the Acre of Mars deed. Moon Estates can ship you the deed with the name left blank or they can print the name. Registration details are entered into the Lunar Embassy's database under the name of the person placing the order, unless you specify otherwise. If you wish to transfer ownership, or you change your mind, just fill out and return the postage paid card and they will update the central database.

So forget your standard gifts like a box of chocolates, flower’s or dodgy old socks and buy your other half a piece of planet! Okay so it might be a bit pricer than your plain old box of choccies but however it does mean you can buy an exotic piece of land for less than £20!!! Nice.

Gentleman's Ball Scratcher

The Gentleman’s Ball Scratcher is the perfect gift for the man that has everything! What’s a man to do when he’s got an irritating itch in an extremely awkward spot? It’s either dive fingers first down the front of your trousers and receive some very funny looks from passers by, or discreetly approach the corner of the desk that you’ve just walked passed on the way to the canteen. Our suggestion is neither! Now thanks to Shushhh! you can twitch the itch in a stylish and unnoticeable manner. Sing our praises as we present to you, the Gentleman’s Ball Scratcher!

Perfect for the days when your own hands are just not precise enough, the Gentleman's Ball Scratcher is crafted in the shape of a delicate female hand (oo-er vicar), for those extremely hard to reach places. The 9 inch handle provides excellent extra length to help get around difficult obstacles (beer bellies, old pizza, empty beer cans etc.) and provide the relief that so many crave...

The Gentleman’s Ball Scratcher comes in a cushion lined presentation box and to the untrained eye would appear to be just another fountain pen or fancy letter opener. Plated in Silver, stain resistant and dishwasher safe makes The Gentleman’s Ball Scratcher the ultimate gift for the busy executive who has everything, including an itch! Leave it alone man!

Raunchy Wrapping Paper

A present without any wrapping paper is a bit like a foot without a shoe, and let’s face it, the majority of gift wraps on the market nowadays are about as innovative as a chocolate teacup. Wrapping and unwrapping presents can also feel like a bit of a thankless task as you watch half an hour of your handy work being torn to shreds in seconds by eager relatives. With the pitiful patterns and cheap market tat designs around at the moment you can’t exactly blame them either.

And that’s exactly why we’ve been on the hunt for that exquisite piece of wrapping paper that screams character, style and pizzazz and that any Christmas or Birthday pressie would be proud of adorning. So imagine our excitement (think literally) when we came across SUCK UK’s Raunchy Wrapping Paper. Each whopping sheet of provocative gift wrap measures 84cm x 59 cm and is printed with an assortment of beautiful babes or handsome hunks in a series of suggestive poses. If you think that sounds good, here’s the best bit! The blokes or beauties are only printed on the reverse side!

So you’ve wrapped up your present in Raunchy Wrapping Paper, now what? Just hand it over to the lucky recipient and watch, as they are lulled in to a false sense of security by the outer papers stripy red or blue motif. As soon as they tear into their presents they will be faced with a montage of foxy females or fetching fellas in the nuddy!

So even if you’re not a fan of scantily clad ladies or admirable Adonis's, Raunchy Wrapping Paper is certain to stimulate the hardest of customers and just like a kiddie at Christmas, they'll most likely have more fun with the wrapping paper than they will with the present itself.

My Last Rolo

Love is a wonderful thing, especially when it helps you to get showered with presents. Obviously that's not the only thing it's good for but we'd be lying if we said it wasn't a major bonus! So what better to express your undying love for someone than with a solid Silver or Gold Rolo?! If you're stuck for the perfect gift then this is definitely the answer and the ultimate test.

My Last Rolo is a dream come true for any die hard romantic, imagine being handed one of these gleaming love tokens in its official Nestle gift box, your heart would melt like a box of...erm... chocolates! The thing is, a Chinese takeaway or a box of gooey toffee chocolates just doesn't seem to cut the mustard these days – mind you we don’t think it ever did! It's time to reach a little bit deeper into your dark and gloomy pockets and splash out a few extra quid if you really want to earn some extra brownie points. We can guarantee that the Silver and Gold My Last Rolo will definitely win the hearts of your main squeeze and best of all you’ll never have to give your chocolate Rolo away ever again, with a simple reminder of what you’ve just bought them!

OK, so the My Last Rolo isn't quite 'solid' silver or gold, if it was we could assure you that you wouldn't be reading this page because we'd be right out of business! But it is extremely chunky and beautifully crafted and looks just like the real thing. It bears a full Sterling Silver or Gold Hallmark and is cradled in a deep red presentation box to give to your lucky companion. Do you love someone enough to give then your last Rolo?

Silver Love Heart

It's not easy to show someone how much you care, you can either buy a droopy bunch of flowers from your local petrol station or hire a barber shop quartet to serenade the other half - both with quite embarrassing results. So imagine our excitement when we spotted this original Swizzles Matlow Silver Love Heart. It really is the ultimate in romantic gifts!

The Silver Love Heart is especially designed for those of us who find it hard to say those three special words. This incredibly cute piece of hallmarked sterling silver is modelled on the Love Heart sweets that we all handed out in the playground at school. Although you could stick it in your mouth and chew it (which we don't recommend) these gorgeous little silver sweeties may not be edible but are guaranteed to bring memories flooding back and hearts racing! Whoever you decide to grace with this luxurious love lozenge, you are bound to be in the good books for the unforeseeable future.

Cleverly designed by the boys at SUCK UK this Silver Love Heart is beautifully crafted and will whisk you off to the days of kiss chase, first crushes and that bird you really fancied in the year above quicker than you can say ‘Look at me now, you’d be begging for it!

It comes in a beautifully presented cardboard gift box with your token of love presented in the middle on top of a bright red ribbon. Whether it's for the first time you're saying it or for the gazillionth, how better to say those three special words emblazoned on a glistening Silver Love Heart?

Family Guy Stewie In Your Pocket

Calling all Family Guy fans. Here’s a little accessory you should not miss out on. If, like Stewie, you feel the world is one huge frustrating mess of a place, then take the tiny terror tot with you everywhere you go. The Family Guy Stewie in Your Pocket keyring slips neatly into said compartment but at the merest press of a button, you can unleash the beast with some unsavoury Stewie quotes from hell.

Not familiar with the sarcastic life of ickle baby Stewie? Family Guy is an animated TV comedy series about an all American family - the parents, 3 kids and a dog. Nothing abnormal there except for the fact that 1-year-old baby Stewie is hell-bent on total world domination. Naturally. Oh and he has a grudge against his mother. According to him, he was incarcerated for 9 months in her womb (or cursed ovarian Bastille as he calls it) and must therefore seek revenge by killing her. How quaint… He has attempted matricide many a time but each cunning plan has failed so far.

Like any self-respecting bad guy, TV’s most malevolently superior infant has an English accent and for comedy effect sounds as camp as Kenneth Williams in a Carry On film. He even sounds a bit like Frasier. Eminently quotable, Stewie is now available to have, to hold, to love and cherish as if he were your own.

When pressed, each of the six buttons plays one of Stewie’s utterances. And quite loudly too. So when your mates decide to have a round of bad impressions at the local pub, pull this out of your pocket and set them right instead of grinning and bearing the ordeal. Or even press the buttons through the fabric of your trousers and make them think you’re talking out of your ar….

Invest in a megaphone to really get the fun started. You could be driving your car and suddenly some woman cuts you up dangerously. Step 1: compose yourself; Step 2: remove Family Guy Stewie in Your Pocket and megaphone from glove compartment; Step 3: open window; Step 4 play ''Damn you vile woman'' through the megaphone at high volume; Step 5: continue on your journey with a friendly, de-stressed, smile-filled attitude. Or simply prank colleagues in other departments by playing ''Put me through to the Pentagon'' repeatedly. So many options, so little time.

Whatever situation you apply it to, the Family Guy Stewie in Your Pocket keyring is the perfect accessory for any obnoxious would-be megalomaniac planning to rule the world but who needs a bit of inspiration to get underway. Thank god babies aren’t like this in real life. Although kids do turn into evil and conniving bundles of joy from around the age of 2.